I've been single since about 2015, and let me tell you: dating over 40 is not an experience I would wish on anyone.
Over time, I've noticed a steady decline in the, shall we say, quality of single men posting profiles on dating sites.
Not that the average single male over 40 is a bad prospect. Quite the contrary! I easily know a dozen single middle aged men who would make wonderful partners to the right woman.
Those men have simply stopped participating in the online dating space.
The reason is simple, and it's exactly the same for both men and women: dating sites have been taken over by catfishers, con artists, and married folks looking for sex on the side.
It's a serious problem, especially for people like me who live in relatively rural areas and don't particularly enjoy socializing in large groups anyway.
Seriously, my biggest social events of the year are either family gatherings, grocery shopping, or high school basketball games. Everywhere I go, I meet plenty of single people. But I'm either related to them or I've known them long enough to have a good grasp of our potential compatibility or the lack thereof.
Maybe it's different for younger people, but I don't think so. The Smart Phone Age has rendered most younger folks incapable of socializing in person with the general populace, let alone with their peers.
As well, our long-term cultural trend is toward perpetual adolescence, which necessarily accompanies a similar decline in the maturity needed to establish and maintain long-term relationships.
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I was going through a particularly terrible dating spell when Vannessa Kinley stepped up as a character. And so, when it came time to create a prequel gimme for readers, it seemed natural to bring dating into the picture. Nessa is, after all, a single, attractive woman, and she's also somewhat isolated by her job and her status among the supernatural community.
Part of Duncan Seavers' characteristics, good and bad, came from men I've met. I tried to make him a well-rounded character: intelligent, dedicated to his job, and also as deeply flawed as the average human. No human is perfect. It therefore follows that no character is perfect, either.
I also drew on personal experience when writing about Nessa's frustration with the whole online dating process. Like, waiting for a guy to text after a great date, or the need to accommodate different lifestyles, jobs, and energy levels.
Some of that experience also comes from watching friends fall in love with the perfect guy or gal next door, someone they've known or known of for ages.
Most of all, I wanted to craft a relatable story.
The end result is The Single Witch's Guide to Online Dating. I released this prequel exclusively to newsletter subscribers in February 2022. In just nine days, it will also be available to readers at large.
It's currently still available for free to subscribers, but that won't last long. One of my top goals for 2023 is to craft a different gimme for top fans, so I encourage anyone who wants a shot at picking it up for free to do so before I release another freebie.